


small gestures

by carminare



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Study, Fluff, M/M, tsukishima kei loves yamaguchi tadashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 12:41:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17601557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carminare/pseuds/carminare
Summary: Kei was all logic and reason, sly remarks and mean comments. That didn't mean he didn't care, though. He cared deeply, sometimes so much it was scary.





	small gestures

Tsukishima Kei wasn’t good with feelings. Everyone knew that. He could be rude and bitter all thanks to his straightforwardness but when it came down to talking from the heart, showing that he cared? Yeah, not his thing.

Everyone expected sweet words or loud actions but it just wasn’t him. Kei was all logic and reason, sly remarks and mean comments. That didn’t mean he didn’t care, though. He cared deeply, sometimes so much it was scary. He cared about his brother’s love for volleyball; he cared for being of use to his team; he cared for the pride in his ability. And he cared for Yamaguchi Tadashi. See, that was the scary part, that instinct he had, almost primitive, of protecting his freckled friend. Kei wasn’t stupid, he knew he had been in love with his best friend for years now but, again, he wasn’t good with emotions, so he just ignored it, shoved it really back and kept going.

There were moments, however, when he’d let it slip just a bit, just to see what it would feel like, just to imagine he could. Like when they were doing homework together and Yamaguchi would focus real hard on a math problem and Kei would allow himself to look a bit longer than necessary at the furrow between Yamaguchi’s eyebrows; like when they were practicing English and Yamaguchi would try to pronounce the _th_ sound correctly and would put his tongue between his teeth and Kei would pretend to assess the other’s form just to stare at those soft lips; like when they were changing in the club room and Yamaguchi would take his shirt off and Kei would pretend he had a hair on his shoulder just to touch the freckled skin; like when he would take a water break during practice and would look at Yamaguchi practicing his serve, staring at his long legs and serious face. It was a dangerous game but he didn’t want to stop, probably wouldn’t be able to even if he wanted.

Kei cared for Yamaguchi so much that when the game against Wakunan was in it’s critical point, their team dynamic unbalanced by the absence of their captain, and Yamaguchi was called as a pinch server, his heart was in his throat, nervous sweat mixing with heat sweat. He tried some reassuring words and Yamaguchi beamed at him. _Good_ , Kei thought but there was still something wrong. First serve went over the net but only just barely and then Kei saw it, the look on Yamaguchi’s face, the doubt, and he knew he was going to run away. Yamaguchi did and Kei’s heart broke a little. They lost the set.

He could see the shame in Yamaguchi’s eyes when coach Ukai came into the court yelling his name. He could see all what it took for him not to break right there. And there was nothing he could say to him. _It’s okay_ , wouldn’t be enough; he didn’t think words would be enough. So, he let it slip it a bit again and without thinking too much about it, he grabbed a towel and pushed it against Yamaguchi’s chest long enough for his friend to react and grab it from him. Then, he walked away.

“Isn’t there anything you want to say to Yamaguchi?” Hinata asked, oddly perceptive of the situation.

“Why don’t you say something to him?” Kei retorted, ending the conversation.

The thing was, Yamaguchi had been his friend for years now, they’ve been through a lot together and yeah, people didn’t get it, why Kei “put up” with Yamaguchi, why Yamaguchi was always chasing Kei, but it didn’t matter that they didn’t understand because they were friends and as far as Kei was concerned, they were perfect for each other. And Kei knew Yamaguchi was strong, stronger than most. He didn’t think for a second that Yamaguchi wouldn’t raise his head and keep moving forward.

When they gathered before the next set, Yamaguchi’s eyes were still low and Kei would never admit it, but it hurt him. _This is the last time_ , he lied to himself, _the last time I let it slip_. He moved closer to his best friend, their arms almost touching, and softly touched his pinky to Yamaguchi’s, a reassuring touch that could pass for accidental, he hoped. Yamaguchi didn’t react, except for a small smile that reached his lips. Kei counted it as a win.

* * *

The game against Seijoh ended. It had been an hectic match and they had won. They all slept on their way back to the school, tired bodies and happy spirits. But after the briefing, as a late yawn escaped his lips on his walk home, Kei wasn’t thinking of playing Shiratorizawa and how terrifying it would be. No, he was thinking of Yamaguchi. His friend, who walked beside him sleepily rubbing his eyes, had been the hero of the game. Yamaguchi had been brave and had given it his all and won them five points. Kei took a side glance and saw him exhale a long breath and his chest was suddenly warm. He was proud.

 _Isn’t there anything you want to say to Yamaguchi?_ Hinata’s words ringed through his head. Damn him.

The intersection where they parted ways was coming and Kei had never dreaded it so much before. His chest was tight and his hands were trembling a little. When they reached the corner, he stopped and Yamaguchi stopped with him.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, expression confused. “Did you forget something?”

Kei looked at him. Yamaguchi’s soft eyes shone brightly with the reflection of the streetlights, his messy hair pointed everywhere. Kei was in the brink of bursting, he was full and tired and he decided it was time to let it go. He took a deep breath.

“You were amazing today,” he said and the words came out easier than he thought they would.

Yamaguchi processed the words for a second and then a huge smile covered his sun kissed face. Kei watched the constellation on his skin, transfixed by its beauty, and before Yamaguchi could thank him, he turned and said, “See you tomorrow.”

As he started walking, he felt Yamaguchi’s fingers around his wrist, soft but firm. His skin burned.

“Tsukki?” Yamaguchi said tentatively and the softness in his voice made Kei shudder as he turned to look at him.

Yamaguchi’s face was tender, gentle eyes and small smile. Kei just stared at him for a second too long and then said lamely, “Yeah?”

See, Tsukishima Kei wasn’t good with emotions or big actions but the same couldn’t be said about his best friend. Yamaguchi Tadashi would grab you by the shirt and yell at you if necessary; he would call your name and call you lame and try to knock some sense into you. So, that’s why when Kei was waiting for a response, maybe a _thank you_ , he got instead soft lips on the corner of his mouth. It was a fast kiss, there one second and gone the next and it made his heartbeat raise incredibly.

“Thank you,” Yamaguchi said and then looked down. He was still holding Kei’s wrist, his rough fingers caressing just slightly. Kei’s heart felt like it was about to explode. He moved his hand and intertwined his fingers with Yamaguchi’s, squeezing lightly.

The night was chilly, the stars were shining and they would play the most important game of their lives the next day but in that moment, all Kei could think about was how silky Yamaguchi’s lips were, how fast his heart was beating. So when Yamaguchi looked up at him, reddened cheeks and hopeful eyes, he didn’t think twice before leaning down and pouring all of what he felt into his best friend’s lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first fic ever, so please be kind! I do hope you like it!  
> You can find me on twitter @keijiis please come scream with me about tsukkiyama and bokuaka


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